October 08, 2009

People always come up and tell me, "I really wish I can be (this age) again and be who I was," or... they'll tell me, "I wish you were (this age) again because I liked you better that way." No matter what you do, you can not go back into the past and turn yourself into the person you used to be. A person can try all they want to change themselves back to who they were, but personality is something that is very difficult to change back once you have altered it. I know this through personal experiences. You can wear the clothes you used to wear, you can change your hair to those old hairstyles back in the day, you can even try to listen to the old music you used to listen to. You will have memories of thinking about who you were and you will probably try to do your best in order to regain your old identity, but in reality... you will not be able to grasp it.

I remember a point in time where I was trying to change myself to become the girl I was back in high school. I tried to give all my old friends a call and hang out with them. Granted, they were still my good friends... In the end, I felt like I wasn't being true to myself. I wasn't comfortable in that skin anymore. I wasn't used to the hairstyle. I didn't even agree with the music I was listening to. Everything I was isn't what I am now. Of course, there are still traces of who I was, but I feel like there is more of a mixture and a variety of myself to create a much better personality than who I was before. People are constantly changing. There is no way to stop change. It is inevitable.

So in essence... does that really mean you are being fake since you are not grasping your true identity? If you are trying so hard to change yourself into the person you were, does that mean you aren't the person you are supposed to be now? This might sound a bit confusing... but if a person who does not like who they are now tries to change themselves by superimposing an old identity to their personality, aren't they just trying to be someone they are not?